making cat noises will not fix the situation.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
