have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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