just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
