Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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