All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
