I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
