Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
