Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
