There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
