if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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