The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
