Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
