Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
