True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
