It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
