I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize