But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
