I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
its not stalking. its research.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
