cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
