We're facebook friends in real life
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
