Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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