Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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