It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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