I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
