his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
