He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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