plz talk dirty to me
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
