I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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