this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize