I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
