if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
