everyone is single if you try hard enough
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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