And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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