why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
