anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
