There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
