We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
