Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
