my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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