paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
