I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
