Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
