you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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