I just saw a hot homeless man
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
