i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
