We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
