Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
