I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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