You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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