This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
