i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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