The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This is my gift to your gina
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize