What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
