I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
