Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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