So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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