Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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