why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
