I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
