i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize