Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
