he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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