Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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