I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
