why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
