I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
