I have demons in me.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
